from self-care to self-worship: how to start your devotion journey 🌹

fall madly in love with yourself, one desire at a time.

Feb 18, 2025

Imagine if you loved yourself with the same fire, devotion, and obsession you crave from others. What if you could capture the butterflies before a first date and infuse it into your morning rituals?

This is the radical act of reclaiming your own pleasure—an invitation to become your own muse, lover, and savior. When you embrace your craving for erotic experiences, you create an electric energy that draws others toward you for more.

recognizing where you are

It’s no secret that the commodification of self-care has led to more self-loathing by trying to reach impossible standards of daily flower petal baths and annual planners that end up in the stack underneath your desk. So how do you begin the journey of genuine love and care for yourself when the recommendations don’t resonate? What if you don’t have the capacity to love or care for yourself in the ways that you would like? What if you just don’t know where to begin?

The first step toward self-devotion is recognizing where you fall on the scale.

totally not scientific scale I created based on my own devotional experience

apathy— nothing matters. I don’t matter.

cynic— the world isn’t meant for someone like me; everyone is a fake

loathe— I hate how I look and the way I present myself to the world

doubt— I’m not sure who I am and what I want for myself

inspired— I feel butterflies and want to devote more energy toward my desires

like— not totally in love with myself, but I like who I am and how I present myself

love— I feel an immense sense of love to myself, HOT for my own divinity

crave— I want more love and experiences for myself because I know I deserve it.

obsessed—I am unstoppable and the world is mine

How can you start tipping the scale in your favor? The honest hard truth of the matter is that you have to do this for yourself. You can’t wait for the world and everyone around you to change for you to begin. It just doesn’t work. You have to want it even when you know don’t know how. This is the most critical step of your journey, making the decision to change because you desire a different narrative.

moving the needle forward

What do you desire?

This is the heaviest question to answer in the beginning of your journey because most people don’t know the answer. When you’re constantly stuck in the stages of “everything and everyone is fucked”, you don’t have the energy to see where you have yourself fucked up at. You cannot change everything that’s wrong in the world and to think it’s a prerequisite to your liberation will leave you waiting for many lifetimes.

Some people don’t know what they desire and that’s their biggest problem. If you’re on the left side of the self-devotion scale, it’s easier to move slower and simpler. Notice that inspiration is at the center of it all. To me, this is the anchor of everything, because when you’re inspired you have a desire whether you know what it is or not. Something negative or positive is prompting an emotional response from you and that’s the key to getting toward the other end of the scale.

Your desires are linked to pleasure. What makes you feel? It could be:

the first beam of sunlight that hits your face during the peak of spring
the perfect shade of black eyeliner that makes your siren eyes pop
the taste of raspberry jam on a warm croissant
your pet curling up into a ball on your lap
the plants in your home that need your help to lift toward the sun
the screaming in a song that hits your heart right where the broken pieces are
your heart pumping from a workout that reminds you that you have a body
the sky when it’s a perfect mix of purple and orange
the way the sun kisses the ocean and glitters in response

Your desires and pleasures don’t have to be these major things on your bucket list. It’s the things that bring you down from the astrals and into the human experience, it’s the things that make you feel like life is worth living.

Ask yourself what pleasure means to you and how are some of the ways you can access it. In order to actually pursue your personal eros, you have to recognize its direct link to your liberation, knowing that it is an act of rebellion to feel good in a world that profits off your pain. Society conditions you to seek external love while succumbing to the expectation that you actually hate yourself. Why else would you need a million reminders of your weight, acne, depression, and thinning hair in between episodes of your favorite love show? The villain reclaims power by prioritizing self-devotion over societal expectations.

“There is no way to repress pleasure and expect liberation, satisfaction, or joy.”
― Adrienne Maree Brown, Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good

when you’re off track

Even the healthiest of relationships ebb and flow in passion so why would the relationship with yourself be any different? The first act toward change is recognizing where there’s room for improvement. You can only escape yourself for so long before you meet yourself in the mirror again.

Nurturing yourself like you would a relationship with a best friend or lover fosters genuine self-care, grounded in true devotion. From gentle check-ins and intentional moments of presence, you will start to feel like at home with yourself. When you start to lose track, treat yourself with the same tenderness you would a friend who’s feeling down on themselves. Lower the expectations and effort, but stay committed to your solo-swoon.

getting back on track

Indulge in practices that make you feel alive and desirable, whether it’s skincare rituals, solo dances, sunny park days, or sensual exploration.
Remind yourself that prioritizing pleasure is part of your liberation
Know that the most profound, life-long relationship you will ever have is with yourself.

This may contain: a man standing on top of a bed in a room filled with pictures and other items

Here are three steps to get you started (or reestablished) with your self-devotion journey:

1. recommitment ceremony

Journal a vow of devotion to your own progress, pleasure, and dreams. Write what this would mean for you and why you’re doing it in the first place. Include a simple ritual or affirmation for your commitment to make it sacred.